Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Coffee Chat! Embracing Change.

Let's chat!!

Missy, here. My oldest will be graduating from college soon. I've been weepy about it for the last month. Especially when writing a letter to be read at the senior banquet for the campus ministry group he's been very active in--Wesley Fellowship.

Here's one of the photos I shared for a poster they'll be doing for him for that banquet night. My beautiful baby! And he's graduating, applying for jobs, moving on in life as an adult.

So tell do you let go? That's our chat topic today. I realize not all of you have children. So I guess I'm asking in general, in life...How do you let go and not weep and whine?? How do you embrace change?


  1. Well, I'm a stinkin' big baby who cries at Hallmark commercials, so I'm the worst to respond, but...

    First I cry... Then I smack myself around for crying and make silly jokes.

    I WEPT each time I dropped a kid off for college... What a sap. Because 18 year-olds can be brats, so why the tears, right???

    But I love that they're grown up now, they've got kids of their own and they get the same opportunity I had, to recklessly ruin some little kid's life, LOL!!! And I get to be the cookie-givin' Grammy.


    I love that picture of Nick, Missy. Just darling. The nice thing about grown-up kids is that you can actually have grown-up conversations with them about stuff. I like that.

    And they appreciate my cooking WAY MORE than when they were young and it was a given. Now they're delighted each time they come home.


    1. Do you go by Grammy too, Ruthy?

    2. Yes, I love being "Grammy".... And then I can be "Gram" when they're older.

      My Grandma Herne was "Gram" to me, so it just seems to work.

  2. Well, I'm sure I'll be doing the crying part at graduation! Because I bawled after we left him at college 6 hours away his freshman year--I'm talking I almost fell down on the ground sobbing in the parking deck on campus!

    I'm sure I'll survive this and will look head to what you said, Ruthy. To thinking about his independence and maybe someday...grandkids! :)

    1. I didn't cry at graduations.... About then I was just prayin' they'd find a job, you know???

      But I did at weddings.

      And over babies.....

      A sap.

  3. Missy, what a precious picture. Reminds me of a figurine.

    My baby girl is graduating from college next month. I think I'll be okay. I've said enough good-byes with my older girls to get me over that. However, like Ruthy, dropping them off at college is another story. Bawling like a baby.

    And you're right, Ruthy. Why is that? They're such brats as teenagers you'd think we'd be happy to be rid of them for a while. Go figure.

    1. If you find an answer to it, let me know. Dave just kept shaking his head, for hundreds of miles....

      And for the ones here at the University of Rochester???? He was dumbfounded because they were only twenty-five minutes away, LOL! But it's a rite of passage.




  4. Yeah, I hope to be a pro at this someday, too. My middle child, who I just spent two days with doing a college visit, asked if I would cry when I took him, or if it would be easier this time. I told him I would definitely cry again! Poor guy. :)

  5. LOL -- Missy, your middle child would probably be insulted if you didn't cry! He'd be thinking you loved First Born more. :-)

    Letting go is hard. Embracing change of any kind is a real challenge. I keep having to remind myself of the exciting things change brings.

    My daughter is out on her own now, but she's still in town and she stayed home through university because that was in town so I think we gradually weaned ourselves off each other. But oh my -- sometimes I get these flashes from the past -- a look, that toothless grin, the pudgy little hand holding mine -- and it just kills me!!!! I mean my heart aches so bad wanting that baby back. But then I go hug a dog and life is good again...or almost as good. I think I need a puppy!

  6. Kav you're right! He needs to know I'll cry over him, too! :)

    And I totally understand those flashes. I've burst into tears before while watching moms pick up their kids at our church preschool, remembering when mine were that little.

  7. What is this? Make-Jan-cry day?

    Our second is graduating from college this year (she did the six year plan...), but she lived at home until last year when WE moved away.

    Yes, we do things backwards in our family.

    Third and fourth children are both planning to continue living at home during college (one is a college freshman, the other a high school senior).

    But we're in a state a transition...the other way. College girl is moving home (and taking over my office. Again.), and our oldest has decided to take us up on our offer to help him relocate to the Black Hills, too.

    So all four will be home again! (It's a sign of the times, isn't it? Grown children living at home with their parents to save money?) It will be a crowded few months until they get jobs and move out again.

    We love it - - everyone living in the same city is such a blessing!

    But with all those kids around, that still doesn't stop me longing for the little children stage - - so I teach 4's and 5's Sunday School to get my kid fix every week :) Love those oh-so-serious learners. Everything is new.

  8. Jan, you're so blessed to have them all near again!! Mine is searching for jobs where he is now to stay near his girlfriend. If he finds one, he'll still be far away. But I want him to be able to be there where he'll be happier!

    Prayers appreciated! He has 3 interviews coming up!! One tomorrow.

  9. Definitely a sign of the times, Jan. We have both of them living at home again too.

    Wow, a bunch of us have kids graduating college this year. My baby girl is too, Mindy. Man, I remember how excited she was to turn 4!

    No new jobs on the horizon although baby girl has worked at Starbucks all through college (even when she was away for a year at Geneseo) and during part of HS.

  10. Wow, Mary. Lots of change for a good many of us! Congrats to all these graduates!

  11. I don't have kids and I've never understood the bawling - my mom did that to me and it's not like I went anywhere permanent - well 4 hours away but still...she got to stuff my room with old sewing machines and use it for storage! I'd literally move stuff off the bed to crawl in to sleep! my brother fared better since he came to spend the night more often so she never could fill his as full (about 10 yrs after I moved to Houston my dad had cancer and they were making numerous trips and staying with me so that's why I didn't go up there as much - I saw them at my place) it made it really hard on me moving out because I felt if my mom was making such a big deal that it must be a scary thing to do..but if she hadn't seemed to care then my feelings would've been moms probably can't win no matter what they do LOL!
    btw, hide all the beef, toilet paper and shampoo or it'll go with him!

  12. LOL, Susanna. I suspect you're right. Moms just can't win. :)

    Oh, and he's also figured out the stocking up while home thing. Either that, or else he asks if I can bring shampoo and stuff when I visit. :) Hey! It just hit me. He didn't do that this time. I guess he's growing up. :)