Wednesday, February 6, 2013

"Nailed It"

Hi everyone! The Fresh Pioneer is back with a delicious recipe... but for once I'm going to be completely honest and show you all the failure behind the beautiful pictures.
Oh, and as always, that picture above is the TEASER. There's no way on this side of heaven that I will ever be able to make something that gorgeous without lots and lots of help... and prayer... and some intensive training in a Parisian patisserie.
Since that's not happening anytime soon, I thought I'd share the failures that go into a pretty little blog post from The Fresh Pioneer.

NB: Dear Edna takes no responsibility for any portion of the 'fail' part. She is, as always, perfection!
I know you're thinking, "Waitaminute! The regular pictures weren't the failure? There's MORE?"

*ahem* Yes, the finished product is usually the result of a bit of slight-of-hand and a lot of they-can't-taste-it-so-it's-fine.
Now, a few weeks ago Julie sent me a link to a funny pictorial list of Pinterest fails.

Pinterest Fails... Do not drink coffee while reading.

  I laughed. A LOT. And LOUDLY. Because I am the queen of "that looks so easy" and "I bet I can do that".
  I like to think I'm a pessimist in general. But I admit I'm an absolute dreamer when it comes to food and crafts.
See, I'm thinking this doesn't look so hard! I can DO THAT.
So, let's start on today's recipe. My sister makes the most incredible fudgy chocolate 'turtles'. These are made in the waffle maker, so it can't be that hard, right??

Ingredient list:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups sugar
 4 eggs
2/3 margarine
1 tsp vanilla

 Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl. Mix all others with the mixer until well-blended, add together.
It looks like brownies. And is the same consistency. Edna was having a good time. :)
After waffle maker is heated, add by spoonfuls to the griddle and close.
Here's the tricky part. If you pry them off too roughly... crumbly FAIL. Still edible, but not pretty.
Take them out too late and... burned FAIL. (Some brave child took a bite but then spit it out. Smelled good. Tasted like charcoal.)
Take them out too soon... raw FAIL. Still edible in our house. Not good for bringing to play dates because nobody likes to risk salmonella poisoning.
Hmmmmm. Taste tester is thinking over this one...

They are approved! Now, on to make the frosting. I found a nice recipe that hasn't failed me yet.
6 tbs butter
6 tbs cocoa
6 tbs canned evaporated milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups powder sugar

Mmmmm. Just right. Thank you, Edna!
The large one in the middle represents the biggest of my daughter's three turtles. Her name is Monster and she's quite vicious. (The turtle, not my daughter. She's a sweetie.) Here is Monster enjoying the sun in the hopes it will improve her little attitude.
Now, if I were less honest, I would have skipped all those fail pictures... Or maybe it's because Edna is peering over my shoulder and snorting every time I post a pretty picture that has left the kitchen in shambles.

(OOOOO, I went looking for a Google pic of a dirty kitchen. *shriek* SCARY STUFF. DO NOT EVRE GOOGLE "DIRTY KITCHENS". *hyperventilates* *starts scrubbing the house*)

I need something pretty now to counteract those other pictures... Quickly!
Ahhhh, Better. Anyway, I have to say, I do enjoy a bit of loveliness in the world. Happily-ever-after fiction, or photoshop, or just plain positive thinking makes me a happy girl.
So, take moment to enjoy something beautiful! Your heart will thank you.
Until next time!


  1. WHOOPS! Whoah. I don't know what happened here but I'm right on top of the Tex's post. I'm sorrryyyyyy!!!

    An I don't see any way to take it off without deleting an reformatting... with pics.

    So, since I'm leaving to teach a class... Um, I beg forgiveness!!

    Carry on!

  2. Well, I managed to change the date, but it still kept it posted. I thought it would take it down and repost after midnight. Oh, well! :)

    1. I think I've done this before, and the only way I could get it off was to delete and rewrite!

      Thank you for trying!!

  3. You know, if I never tried a single recipe from this site, I'd still have to admit I enjoy it more than I ought to. You guys (sorry... gals) are a hoot! Turtles made in a waffle iron??? I have trouble making plain waffles in a waffle iron!

    But I give you credit for admitting to failures, and posting them. That takes courage. I made a batch of biscuits just after I was married. They turned into bullets and I threw them into the garbage before my hubby came home. He probably wondered why we were having plain bread and butter with our stew since his mother had always served biscuits with her stews, but I couldn't bear to admit that kind of failure. Oh, wait... I guess I just did, and in a very public comment, too. Eek!! But confession is good for the soul, isn't it? Okay, so I won't erase this. But don't anyone point my hubby in this direction.

    Hmm, you mentioned brownies. Maybe I'll go make a batch of my never-have-failed-at-least-not-so-far microwave brownies. :)

    1. LOL, Carol! We won't tell your secret. :)

      Hey, I'd love to have you guest post your brownie recipe on one of my Fridays! If you're interested, please email me at missytippens [@]

    2. Oh, I love that Carol! And I love that Virginia beat up Mindy's post.... That's so mean!!! Girl fight!!!!


      Those nice Christian authors, ya'll never know what they're going to do!

      I love biscuits. I could just sit and eat Annie Loveless biscuits for like.. ever. Really. With butter, and maybe some real maple syrup.

      I hope they have both in heaven.

    3. Ruthy, why wait for heaven? You can get those right here, right now!

  4. HAHAHAHA! I love thie biscuit story!! I've heard some funny stories over biscuits, so I know not to try them.

    An share that recipe! We need some no-fail brownies around here :D

  5. Virginia, those look pretty amazing. I can't wait to try this--especially the icing! I have a feeling I'd be eating that by the spoonful.

    1. It's delicious frosting and it's always held up well in the fridge for days afterward, so no hurry on using it!

  6. I just wasted a cup of coconut flour yesterday that I tried to substitute for almond flour in a pancake recipe. No one told me coconut flour is used sparingly and never alone because it is a binder!

    I made paste instead of pancakes! Ack!

    Glad to know it isn't just me.

    Peace, Julie

    1. Oh, we're still laughing about that link! Sooo funny!
      Strange about the coconut flour. I wonder if that's why they use coconut oil in things?

    2. Julie, I didn't know that either!!!! Oh, sticky glue pancakes!!!

  7. I checked out those Pinterest failures and howled! Pretty embarrassing since I'm at work. I have now shared with multiple friends who are having a hard day! Thanks for being a ray of sunshine!

    I'm scared of waffle irons. I don't think they are as friendly as Edna. Edna wants you to succeed but waffle irons are determined to make you fail. They refuse to give up the batter and they make cleaning impossible. While the Edna's of the world cheer us on the waffle irons only boo and hiss.

    Give Edna a hug for me. She's such a trooper to have to share the spotlight with WI.

    1. Isn't she wonderful? but she's prettys ecure in her amazingness.

      And me an my kids laugehd until we cried when Julie sent me that link.

      We still say "NAILED IT" when something goes wrong.

  8. Oh, I'm so glad we didn't have digital cameras back in the old days when I was first married.

    My poor husband.

    Things weren't much better when boy #1 came along.

    Now I have fewer fails...but only because I know my limitations :)

    And I didn't take a picture of last week's Apple Cake fail. Major fail. I blame the recipe.

    But, on the good side, I have extra bananas and I need to take a dessert to a ladies' get-together tonight. It's time for Aunt Bea's Banana Cake!!!!

    and if it fails, I promise I'll take pictures!

    1. Yes, let's share the fails!! At least the rest of us will feel better, hahahaa!

    2. No fails yet - it looks and smells wonderful!

      But next up: Mindy's frosting. And I don't have whole milk. Substituting = possible fail!

  9. Ginny I think you just haven't threatened your waffle iron enough. I showed mine a sink full of soapy water and a plastic bristle brush once and he has since been very obliging when I ask him to release my turtles. Apparently immersion is not healthy for waffle irons...

    That frosting makes them so good! For all you readers, my lovely sister once sent me home with a pint jar full of that frosting--it survived the two hour drive only because I had no spoon :D

    1. HAHAHAHA! It was a smal jar and I'msure your fingers could have gotten to about the middle. So, didn't you put the jar in the trunk??

      And I'm so glad you told me that about waffle irons because now I can just say that's why mine is so caked with food. ("Sorry, Susie said I can't clean it!")