Thursday, July 19, 2012

Oh Mylanta!

Pop + Laptop = Total Destruction of the Planet as we know it.

I am not sure that this is true. I suspect it might be, as my beautiful 6 month old laptop lies in the surgical unit of Monroe Technology's west-side satellite office....

It all started with me. Yes, yes, I can own my guilt, the awful task of being a mother and babysitter who believes that children should LEARN ALL SUMMER....

Clearly the God of children everywhere thought I was asking too much.

Except the kids were excited to be writing on the laptop! Gratified by their story-telling capabilities... Delighted with their continued progress!!!!  Story-tellers, fable-spinners, one and all!!!!

We have this rule, see? About liquids and laptops. About being careless with other people's equipment (in this case mine.)  And far be it from me to squash a young man's ardor (9 years old) when he longs to get back to his story about the Silver Surfer and the Doom-something...

Great story, by the way.

He carefully stowed his thinning silver pouch of Capri Sun on the counter top, as directed.

Such a good boy!

And then....

Oh, then...........

In strolls McKenna.

(Remember how the dancer in red came onstage in Lord of the Dance??? Long hair swinging, her steps.... You know what I mean... the sweet girl in white didn't stand a chance!!!)

Now my little buddy here has had a thing for McKenna since oh, birth???? Nearly birth, I kid you not. Here they are at one of their mock weddings a few years ago:

Aren't they adorable? The correct response is: Yes. (that doesn't mean I won't kill them.)

But as any good romance author knows, the road to HEA is fraught  with twists and turns, bumps in the road, conflict after conflict, and alas... the romance fizzled.

But then today, after Cole carefully stowed his Capri Sun on the counter, McKenna sidles up to him and asks him to open her Diet Sierra Mist for her.... Because the top is soooooo tight.

(I think it was a come on. Really. Truly. Most likely, right?)

And what does this big, strong nine-year-old boy do? He opens that bottle of soda with a firm twist of his wrist, macho to the max....

Over my new laptop.

Gurgle....gurgle... gurgle....

We sopped, mopped, blotted and slurped all we could get out of my beautiful BFF "HP"... now the rest is in the hands of God and Monroe Tech. I was able to grab current files out (after changing my password on this computer so that I could access my e-mails.... Wanna know my password now? It's much easier because I can only use the TOP TWO ROWS ON THE KEYBOARD....

Oy. How can Alex and Lisa make it to their HEA? How will Piper and Zach realize they're MFEO?

Stay tuned for the next installment of the Ruthy-saga, otherwise known as: How Many Kid Funerals Does It Take to Fill Fifty Acres of Farmland????

I'm thinkin' I've got plenty of room left!


  1. NOOOOOOOOOO! This truly put the fear of God and sugary drinks in me.

    Oh, man. I got shivers. Makret this as a short, under a name like Ruthy Logan Erne, or soemthing. It'll be the horror story of the year.

    Seriously, PRAYING for the recovery of the small children... No, I mean, the recovery of the laptop. I know the kids are fine.

    But also... I must say. I've let my kids on my laptop about twice. And no typing... just reading. Scrolling. Under supervision. In a controlled environment.

    1. I let them use both all the time. I know, I should be shot. Hung and quartered like old beef.

      Sigh... I blame McKenna. Because she IS really cute. ;)

      I'm praying that it's a minor fix, and that Cole will be grounded for twelve years. That gets us through puberty, high school and college. After that, he can buy his own laptop, right?

  2. Hmmm...rethinking my decision to have my cup of coffee next to my laptop...with the 65 pound dog laying next to me...watching the cat who could (and likely will) dart at any moment...

    Seriously, hope your laptop is okay.

    1. Carol, LOL, yes! Grinning at the thought. Although I like my romance take on this better than the dog leap, but I live the dog leap more often than the romance take, so what do I know????? (We won't let Dave see that last remark, right????)

    2. Carol, I worry about the same thing. That one supposedly harmless cup of coffee.

  3. Oh, I am in agony with you. Can we take up a collection for pens and paper for the little darlings so they are never near your computer again?

    Hope it all works out and your next installment is not from jail.

    Peace, Julie

    1. Jail = unlimited writing time.

      And open toilets.

      Okay, so we're AVOIDING jail time, if at all possible.

      Kids. Oy. But you should read their stories, oh my stars, these kids are loving this summer assignment. I give them a story opener (like I did last week in Seekerville) and then they create the story that follows. The older girls are all doing fantasy (Once Upon a Time/Hunger Games influence) and they're marvelous stories, ripe and rich in detail.

      Of course I'd probably more likely kill them for NOT telling good stories than ruining a computer. Because computers are replaceable. Good stories??? A gift from God!!! ;)

  4. Oh Ruthy!!!! Ack is about the only thing that comes to mind! Love that you have a sense of humour about it all though (even as your heart is breaking!) But -- if we follow this budding romance to its logical conclusion you'll be able to regale the wedding guests with this story in about twenty years when you toast the bride and groom.

    My poor laptop is OLD -- donated by a friend when she upgraded years ago and this summer's heat is frying the poor dear's circuit boards (laptop's not friend's.) Now my laptop routinely just shuts herself down when she wants to take a nap! I live in fear of not being able to revive her one day.

    Oh - and can I just say that I LOVE how you are encouraging your kids to write? And write with gusto? Talk about sitting at the feet of the Master! One of them is sure to mention you in their acceptance speech when they are awarded a Christy or Carol or some such prestigious literary award!

    1. Kav, you are a spirit reviver par excellence! My little friend Taylor (11 years old now!) dedicated her first 'book' to me in school... and her mom (my friend Lisa) was okay with that! :) That's a rare mom, right?

      Feed those imaginations and turn the tv off... that's my other mantra, LOL!

    2. Love that! A dedication! Did you also get to be the evil character?? That's my dream, to be an antagonist so scary my name becaomes synonymous with 'RUN FOR YOUR LIVES'.

    3. LOL, Virginia. You know that Maine RS of mine you love so much... The killer doesn't have a name yet. Hee Heee Cue evil laughter. Think of the twist if it was Sweet Virginia.

  5. Oh NO!

    Brings back very bad memories. I didn't that not once but TWICE this past spring only luckily it was to the keyboard on my desktop, not my laptop. The first time was a cup of coffee (Watch out, Carol!). I don't even know what happened. The mug sort of just slipped out of my hand.

    Then, I kid you not, 2 days later, I had the bright idea to clean the new keyboard with a wipe - except the wipe had too much liquid on it and ZAP. Suddenly the computer screen had multiplying rrrrrrrrrs.

    I was so bad. My husband had fallen asleep, so I grabbed a gift card I'd received and ran (literally) to the store to buy a new one. He still doesn't know. Thank heaven the store had one in stock.

    I'm praying to the Lord of creation that your means of creation will be restored. I hope t hat doesn't sound sacrilegious. It's meant in the best way.

    1. I'm loving you running to the store!!! Oh mylanta, that's perfect, Mary! Dave figured it out when he had his coffee last night on the side porch and found four sheets of paper, both sides, with "I will not have liquids around computers" written ad nauseum...

      I'm so old school. And Cole will have to pay for the repair through work. Or a new computer. Life lessons get costly.

      I've popped an occasional key off to clean cookie crumbs... (mine, most likely)... but the thought of popping off SO MANY... when I know I break like 50%? Too much risk to an already sad, sad machine!

    2. Yeah, tried the popping off keys thing. It didn't work. The rrrrrrs kept multiplying even with the keys popped off.

      I was on a roll last spring. I put my iPod through the wash in my coat pocket too. I tried the sealing it up in a bag of rice but that didn't work. The only saving grace with that was that it was really old and not working very well, and had been free with my last iMac purchase.

    3. Oh, Mary, that's so funny! Awful but funny! :)

  6. Ruthy!!!!!!!!

    This is so awful!

    I am praying that your laptop (the one my kid uses is called the baby for a reason) is okay!

    And thank you for your wonderful book as well--I read the inscription that you were naming a character after me--I just didn't realize it would happen that fast!

    A word of caution: At a book signing last year, Brenda Jackson said that she was going to steal my name for a character. As fast as that woman writes, her Piper may be well on her way to the presses by now!

    It will be okay though--I am sure that her Piper--if she is in a Desire book, is behaving in a less than Seekerly way, if you know what I mean. Your Piper can redeem her--if we can get that laptop back and restored!



    1. Piper, I've saved your life! I was able to change my passwords in my e-mail accounts... and crept in that computer using the top rows only, and sent the current stories to the old laptop (the one I'm on now) so you and Zach are safe and sound. And stinkin' adorable!

      Darn that Brenda. My Piper is cuter, no doubt. And she's a tough country girl, with a great Hispanic stepmother and identical twin nieces who wreak havoc... BECAUSE I'M NO STRANGER TO NAUGHTY KIDS, LOL!

  7. ok here's a solution - everyone gets their own laptop! no problem-a!
    I can't blame a kid for mine's sabotage...I did it myself with a caffeine free diet dr pepper several years ago :-( and I'm bad about eating at the computer - my keyboard for my 'big' computer has so many crumbs..sigh...
    sorry it happened and hope he doesn't hold it over her head after they're married 20 yrs down the road...


    1. Susanna, I like that solution! And the wedding, 20 years off... how cute would that be????

    2. one of my cousins..2nd cousin I guess she is - keeps pics of her sons with any of her friends' daughters just in case she needs them for the wedding slide show someday! she even posted that in her blog with the photo!

  8. Ruthy,

    That picture reminds me of Nora Roberts and the Bride trilogy. As I recall, the wedding business the friends own began with just such a childhood wedding.

    1. I've got a workup for a wedding industry trilogy. So stinkin' funny. I worked for a bridal shop as a wedding gown consultant for 8 years. Oh my stars, the stories I can tell...brides...grooms... sales people... seamstresses... mothers (oy!!!!) Matrons/maids of honor...

      Oh. My. Stars. I am so anxious to WRITE IT!!!

    2. I don't think I could be around all those beautiful dresses! I would want to hug every one of them! And tell the women they couldn't have that one... or that one... or that one... because they were ALL MINE.

    3. It was a great job, and it was a family-owned business for two generations, so it fits into the story line perfectly. Virginia, yes, you'd love it... So many pretty dresses!!!! SQUEE!!!!!

  9. And I'm anxious to READ it!

    I guess you need your laptop fixed first, right. *sigh* And all those other books first. *double sigh*

    1. $70 for the laptop. New keyboard to be installed once it arrives. The guts of it were fine.

      $70 is way better than the alternative. And my little buddy will be working it off over the summer. Lesson learned!

  10. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! A writer's worst nightmare!!!

    And to think I was going to get online to complain because I got home from the grocery with a half dozen broken eggs.

    I feel guilty now. No more griping.

    I'm so sorry Ruthy, dear!!!! I hope they're able to fix it. I'm sorry I'm not holding out much hope after my oldest and his friend (throwing pillows at each other) knocked over a glass of water on a 6 month old Macbook Pro that belonged to a third party. Applecare wouldn't cover water damage. He and his friend ended up buying her a new computer.

    Gulp. Here's hoping you'll get a miracle!

    1. Missy, my daughter's month old MacBook Pro died when she got a single drip of water in it because her sleeve was wet. Somehow that drop managed to get through her cover and seep into the back of the laptop. Of course it was the one and ONLY time she's carried it without the waterproof backup cover. Apple was great though. Even though it shouldn't have been covered, one look at our account (and the massive number of Mac products we've purchased over the years) and they repaired it for free.

    2. Mary, that's crazy, isn't it? But I'm glad they repaired it because a tiny bit of anything other than dynamite really shouldn't bring down a whole computer. Not in this day and age.

      Missy, I thought of that incident the minute this happened. Now I need to find a cheap laptop (to go along with this one) that the kids can use.

      Because learning to write evocatively with great emotion and set-up is a MUST!!!! ;)

  11. LOL!!! I just now looked at other comments. See how similar they are!! The awful disbelief! :)