Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Coffee Chat (New Feature!)

Missy, here. Ruthy and I talked and decided to do something new. Each week on Wednesday, we'll have what we call a Coffee Chat, a time to catch up mid-week. For those who drink tea or Cokes (we call EVERYTHING Coke here in the South) ;), please know we're not excluding you. We simply didn't want to call it a Coffee/Tea/Cocoa/Coke/Water Chat. The name wasn't quite as catchy. :)

So grab your favorite beverage and pull up a cozy seat in the corner. I'll pick topics most weeks, but feel free to make suggestions or jump right in with your own questions any time.

For fun, I went to a Conversation Starters website and picked a question to use. But I also wanted to add my own.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
2. If you could only eat one food the rest of your life, what would it be?

Okay, let's chat!


  1. 1. Do you believe in love at first sight? yep but knowing me I'd question it repeatedly and probably doubt it for a few years.

    2. If you could only eat one food the rest of your life, what would it be? hmm does 'mexican' count as a food? gosh I can't imagine eating any food the rest of my life but I'll say eggs since I eat those almost daily though chocolate tastes better..ok chocolate!

  2. Chocolate is the obvious answer to the second question.

    And yes, I definitely believe in love at first sight. I was a goner when I looked into my beloved's beautiful, sympathetic, brown eyes. There was definitely a shiver of awareness arcing between the two of us at that first meeting. I could tell he felt the same way since his tail was wagging a mile a minute and he was falling all over his clumsy puppy feet to get to me. Nine years later that love is still going strong. :-)

  3. LOL, Susanna. I would doubt it, too. Though I love romance, I'm a bit of a realist. So I'm not so sure I truly believe in love at first sight. I think you have to know someone to love them. But I'd sure like to believe it truly happens. :)

    The food thing is so difficult. My food would probably be cheese. Or bread. It would be a tough decision! Maybe I could choose grilled cheese sandwich as my one food. ;)

  4. Oh, now Kav, it's an entirely different situation with dogs!! A big yes on love at first sight there!! :)

  5. yep definitely YES with doggies! It was love at first site with my lab - not the german shepherd but I'm not the one who picked her but I love her now thank goodness!

  6. Oh, Kav, you're right about love at first sight with dogs. Not just love, but uncontrollable devotion! I first saw my Connor when he was a six week old puppy in the animal shelter in Elkhart, Indiana. Just a ball of black and white Border Collie fluff. When I went back to get him the next day, he struggled to get to me - he remembered me, and had already chosen me as his person (Border Collies tend to do that!)

    Now, almost 13 years later, he's nearly blind, his back hips are almost completely crippled from hip dysplaysia, he's incontinent and has to wear diapers, his body is swollen with fatty tumors (benign)...but his ears perk and his eyes light up every time he hears my voice. When I pet him, he leans into me with groans of...something. He's definitely talking to me.

    We have to take a trip east soon because of my FIL's imminent death, and before we go I know I have to take Connor to the vet to have him put down. He goes into deep depression whenever I leave, and I know the week or so we're gone would be torture for him - let alone finding someone who would give him the nursing care he needs...

    So there's the downside of falling in love with a dog at first sight - that responsibility of loving them enough to know when it's time to bring their lives to a comfortable end.

    A minor thing when my FIL is going Home so soon, but it weighs on me...

    But don't let this be a downer on the party! I'm not consumed by grief - just not enjoying the changes taking place right now.

    Pass the chocolate!

    What? No one brought any? Okay, let me see what I have in my stash...

    A box of Russell Stover...a 3# bag of Ghiradelli baking chips...a bag of Lindt truffles, assorted flavors....

    We'll bring it all out - help yourselves!

    Oh, the second question? It's chocolate, of course :)

    Later, I'll tell the story of meeting my husband. And yes, it was love at first sight then, too. I just didn't know it yet...

  7. Jan, first, I love that this has morphed into dog-love-fest and you guys have me saying "Awwwww....."

    No to love at first sight because I think it's attraction, not love, BUT.... I think there is an inkling (my Celtic side is showing) of what could be... When they sing in songs about he "saw his unborn children in her eyes".... That kind of connection that doesn't come often.

    Dogs.... We've thinned our breeders down as time grows shorter for me with two careers. Mick (probably one of the smartest, sweetest dogs on the planet) is now living with Mandy, Paul and Mary Ruth a few miles away. He gets to be an indoor, next-to-the-fire house dog and comes over here to 'date' his friends....

    And it's amazing how the girls settled down when he moved to new quarters. ;) Very eighth grade! Libby and Maddie will stay with me, but we'll only breed Libby-the-Poodle after this summer. Her puppies are amazingly smart and gentle and well-behaved, and the mix of Golden Retriever and Poodle produces such a calm, vigorous dog with few genetic problems. I love that.

    Food.... Potatoes. I could live on potatoes of all kinds, and while I'd miss chocolate, I cannot exist without potatoes. Blame the Irish potato famine, I'm a sucker for potatoes. BUT... Caveat.... I'd have to have ingredients to season and prepare them however I wanted. So bring on the butter, gravy and sour cream!

    I love chattin' over coffee. Can we have coffee, too? Sure, because it says food so we have to have any and all drinks we like.

    Jan, I want to hear that story, LOL! And hugs to you and the dog on that sadness. I sat with two families at the vets in December when they were each putting down their dogs. One for a list of conditions like yours, the other for a malignancy that had advanced into the old fellow's brain.

    But the important thing is that where else can you get 10-15 years of unabashed happiness and unconditional love for so cheap a price?

    No where. Having a beloved pet is so worth it, even with the pain of loss.

    Hey, I'm in for that chocolate. Pass the Lindts, please!

  8. Of course, I'm going to say chocolate for the second question.

    And as for love at first sight, there's a lot of psychology in that. If you lock eyes with someone and think it's love at first sight, it's probably more about your own history, what you think of as comfortable, what you think of as attractive, and what you think of as love. Now if you were abused as a child, if your only parent treated you badly and you thought Dr. House was hot, you could very well end up falling in love at first sight with a serial killer. It's not pretty, it's not especially romantic, but that's life, people.

    Yes, my daughter regularly gets disgusted with me because I'm a ROMANCE WRITER for heaven's sake and yet I say UNromantic things like that ALL THE TIME!!!

  9. Okay, my book is going nowhere right now - too much on my mind, I guess - so you guys get my REAL "love at first sight" story...

    We have to go way back - I'm old - to 1978. I was between my Junior and Senior years in college and engaged to a...guy. By that time, I realized he wasn't wonderful. We had been engaged for about three years, and we were in love, right?

    Then I went to this party and there were people there I had never met before. One of them was this guy - kind of nerdy looking, but weren't we all back then? Besides, I went to a nerdy college :).

    There was something about this guy. He was...well, the kind of guy a girl could trust - with her thoughts, with her plans, with her heart - it was a "this is it" kind of meeting...

    And then my dog bit him. I took the dog who bit people to a party. Sheesh.

    This guy was very nice about it all. I took the dog home, and pretty much tried to forget the whole thing, until I saw him at school the next day (at this nerdy school, we had classes pretty much year 'round). I felt so bad about my dog biting him, but he was so nice and joked about it. Then I knew I wanted to be friends with him.

    We started working together...

    (and totally unrelated to that, I broke up with my fiance...long story...a stressful summer that included my oral comps, a car accident and a broken leg...and he was taking another girl out for ice cream...)

    Anyway, in the fall, this nice guy and I started working together, became friends, had some rocky times, and ended up falling in love.

    And the love at first sight? Remember the "this is it" moment?

    A couple years later - after the rocky times, falling in love, more rocky times - I was in Europe, in a mountain meadow in St. Moritz with the Alps looming above me in all their splendor...and God told me to marry that guy. The kind of nerdy one. The one I had given up on. The one who was still, and would always be my best friend.

    So, was that love at first sight? I think it was something at first sight.

    BTW - he likes chocolate, too.

  10. Oh Jan...sniffling at all your stories today. Your devoted doggie one and the challenges coming with with your FIL. I'll definitely keep you and your family in my prayers! And then you tell your love at first sight story and it has a dog in it?! Be still my heart!!!!!! I knew the guy was a keeper when he could joke about being bit.

    Ruthy, I've heard that the Golden retriever/poodle mix makes for an awesome dog. Might have to go to a different kennel to get my next love-at-first-sight!

  11. Jan, so glad he wasn't a SERIAL KILLER! Just sayin'...

  12. Oh, and talked to my dear husband (yes, I'm still in love with him after all these years). He told me to ask some friends from church if they'd be willing to care for my special needs dog while we're gone...the dog is still so alert and happy (as happy as a dog can be in his condition) that we hate to put him down in these circumstances. So pray our friends will be willing to change a dog's diaper...and live in our house while we're gone....

  13. Oh, Jan, that makes me so sad about your dog and your FIL. I'll be thinking of you all.

    Chocolate, y'all?? Really? I love the stuff, too, but could not survive on it. I need heavier carbs. :) Now, heavy, moist chocolate cake or brownies...I can go there. :)

    Ruthy, I'm close to choosing potatoes, too! Was a tough decision.

  14. LOL, Melanie. Like I said, we're just realists. :) (Says she who just revised a scene to include that staring into each other's eyes!!) LOL

  15. Jan, what a wonderful story!!! You need to put all that in a novel!! It would be fantastic. :)

  16. Jan, that's an excellent idea to get a house sitter! I'm sure there are people who'd help out. Maybe even a college student who would love the independence and space of a house. (are there any colleges around there??)

  17. Yes, there's a college, and a few students in our church. I hope our first choice works out, but it's hard being new in town and still knowing so few people...I have confidence in God, though. He works all things out the RIGHT way every time - even when it's hard for us. We'll see what a few emails and phone calls bring.

  18. I believe in tremendous like, maybe even lust, at first sight. Years gone by, I'd have said yes. But what I now know about love, I'd probably say no. Although I love to read love-at-first-sight stories.

    Here's another one that's changed over the years. I'd have said potato chips. Clearly that would be a bad choice. I also would have said peanut butter, but I now know you can develop a peanut allergy from overexposure. So, I'll have to say chicken wings, if I can have the sauce on the side so I don't burn my lips off on a regular basis.

  19. Oops, started a reply before and Blogger and a kid ate it...

    Jan, that would be a nice thing for folks to do. Normally I'm a proponent of knowing when the time is right and making the appointment for animals.... not people.... BUT...coming home to the empty house would be so tough.

    A friend's dog passed away while they were helping with the birth of a grandchild and had to leave an old, infirm dog with another friend. But they knew it was risky. But tough to come home to.

    Melanie in my absentee post, I agreed with you. I love the line in Sleepless in Seattle when the psychologist brother says, "There is no such thing as destiny. There's only one neurosis realizing another neurosis is a perfect match."

    And that's probably more true than we'd like it to be, LOL!

    Patricia, welcome to the light side! Hey, I'll make a fresh pot. Anybody want pie? Fresh baked apple with or without ice cream.

    Missy's in charge of latte's today. I'm on the plain old coffee side of the counter.

  20. Lattes coming right up to give us an afternoon pick-me-up! Choose your flavor. And whole milk, skim or soy?

    I'm in for a skinny hazelnut latte.

  21. Patricia! I love chicken wings! There's a place here in town that does the best dry butter rub wings. Not spicy. Just salty and yummy! Of course, I like to have half butter rub, half buffalo (mild) so I get the best of both worlds. :)

  22. I do the Boss Sauce or Country sweet wings. My belly is a wuss. But I'm totally in on a latte, but make mine mocha. With extra cream.

    Hush, Missy.

  23. Extra cream is good - I'll have mine in a chocolate, please. Hold the coffee. All of it. Better yet, add it to someone else's. Just so I don't get any of the stuff.

    Wings with honey BBQ sauce are my favorite!

  24. Oh man, it's not good to have to go to work all day with the cafe open for coffee and chatting. I missed so much!

    Let's start with the drinks. Now that peppermint mocha season is over, I needed a new drink for my Saturday Barnes & Noble dates with hubby. Just in time they came up with Marble Mocha Macchiato! Has anyone tried that. Yum!

    It starts with a pump of mocha. Then they add the steamed milk. The shot of espresso goes on top of that. Then a small dollop of whipped cream topped with a drizzle of dark chocolate. I tell them to hold some of the syrup though so it's not too sweet.

    I get to sip that while browsing books. Ahhhh contentment.

    Love at first site - well it exists in books so that's all I need. :)

    And with dogs. Yes, so glad the chat turned to dogs. Ruthy's heard enough of my Fenway to last a lifetime, but we call him Fenny anyway so maybe she won't mind that as much.

    Anyway, Fenny is a rescue. Long story but my daughter had a miserable freshman year at Geneseo. Loved the school. Roommate situation was the stuff nightmares are made of. So she decided to transfer. She wanted NYU at $50,000 a year. She got into an honors program at Brooklyn College which made the 4 years free and they'd give her an Apple laptop. You can guess which our choice was. So we bribed her. Told her if she chose Brooklyn, we'd get her a dog.

    She went for the dog. The day after her birthday, my husband drove her out to North Shore Rescue to "just look". She had her heart set on finding some fluffy white dog, but then she walked through the doors and saw Fenny. The poor baby was recovering from parvo, pneumonia, eye infections, ear infections, etc. so they had him separated from the other puppies. Here was this tiny dog in a huge crate in amongst all these huge loud barking dogs. Nora took one look at him and said, "Daddy, I love him." Three and a half years later, I can't imagine life without him.

    Jan, I wish I could volunteer to take care of your doggy. I'm praying someone comes forward. Praying for your husband and FIL as well. Loved the story of your fated love.

    Food - right now I think Tina's cookies would be my choice. I'm valiantly trying to resist making them again. I would say butter, but it would need something to go on. Potatoes are up there too - just made my potato onion pie with salmon for dinner. Yum. But Tina's cookies have chocolate and coconut and butter but oatmeal makes them healthy. :)

    My I did go on. Sorry.

  25. Mary, we had a similar experience of falling in love with our dog. :) We went to Petco to buy the kids a guinea pig, but it was pet adoption day. And we fell in love with a spotted puppy. There was no way we could leave him once he fell asleep in my arms!

    We already had a 3-year old lab at the time (still have her!), so I called my husband to see if he'd kill us for bringing home another pet. (had two cats, too). He said we could get it if the kids would promise to do all the puppy's care. Well, of course they promised--and he quickly became my dog since they didn't follow up quite as well as promised. :) Today, 9 years later, he's my writing buddy. Usually sits on my feet while I write. :)

  26. Sweet, Missy. Yeah, Fenny's pretty much become my buddy too. Of course I'm the one who feeds him and walks him and plays with him. Hubby's good about it too. Kids are getting better but their schedules are very irregular.

    I understand about the lure once you see them. That's how we ended up with a cat. We took Fenny back to North Shore for his shots and the girls went to look at the cats while we waited. Enter Barty cat. It's fun though since the boys basically grew up together. They're both almost 4 now.

  27. Fenny is a GOOD NAME. So we'll use the nickname from now on and try to forget any and all reasons that any other name ever existed, Mary!

    Geneseo, huh???? That's an hour from me, give or take. Good school, but room-mate stuff. Oh my stars, it's ridiculous how inconsiderate some kids are. We got a taste of all different kinds of roomies with six kids, but some of them have become life-long friends. Thank God for those. And I love the bribe of the free education via the dog lure! That's a hoot! Good for your daughter, I'm not surprised she's smart like Mama!

    And that marble machiatto...Oh, that is a temptation right there!!!! I'll make you one, and myself one, and I'm having the syrup. Of course!!!